If You Can't Think, Don't Bother.

Because it’s been pretty easy to complain over the last. Well, literally over the last year or so about “karma-this” and “karma-that” and “I wish I could change this, than this/that would’ve never happened.”

Well, fuck that. This is it. This is karma’s big one. I’m finally reaching that point in my life where I can see, I know that karma could not bring me any lower than where I am, currently, and that anything horrible that happens to me because of my actions from this point on, is recent, is me, and is my fault, and I should feel freaking horrible. Because I thought, I thought there was a point in time, maybe two months or six months or something, where you can finally move on from a mistake you made. That’s wrong. You’ll never move on, and even if you do, reality never will. That mistake will stay suspended in time for your entire life, and even after you’re dead, it’ll stay suspended in time forever.
Forever.
And now the only thing I have left is everything I’ve ever lost because of my mistakes, and then everything else I’ve lost because of extensive repercussions of those same mistakes. And goddamn it, I’m starting over, and I’m glad. Karma would be proud.

Kuro: About having a birthday party: No. Pretty much my last good reason to do so just left n_n so no.

Fuck.

Serenito: Because in the music world, there is such a thing as “too relevant”, and this is it >< >< >< >< >< ><

Everything’s free. The entire base function of capitalism is on pursuit of individual happiness and a hard day’s work for a hard day’s pay. It’s a system that preys on the individual desire to succeed for themselves, and the concept that money is, in fact, success. Even other economic systems are not based on the idea that society as a whole should benefit from the system, but the individual him/herself should benefit. In the world I see, people are aware. People are aware of things like war and poverty, oppression and insecurity, sadness, hatred, and ultimately death. The systems themselves don’t have to change, as a matter of fact, they shouldn’t exist. The people would be different. In a world where a computer programmer can sleep at night knowing that what they do at work everyday makes someone else’s day easier on the computer, a garbage collector knows the horror of waste piling up in the world, and a movie star struggles to bring smiles and entertainment to the world around him/her, payment would never be needed. When people are working their jobs for other people, and not for the sakes of themselves, money would become ultimately worthless.

There are no laws. There are things like traffic tickets and stop signs are there because people want to do 50 miles per hour in a school zone to get where they’re going and don’t care if they should look to the left or right before advancing. Traffic tickets are there as a deterrent, like police officers of the road. In a world where everyone knows the risk of going 50 in a school zone, that they could hit a 12-year old child and mangle their legs into an oblivion that has to have an emergency amputation and live legless for the rest of their lives, people would simply do 25. In a world where people know that everyone has to go somewhere, and you don’t really need to get where you’re going faster than everyone else, people wouldn’t speed. Late to something? Your own fault, should’ve planned better. Planning fallacy? The person at the thing you’re late to will understand.
Expand. Murder becomes insignificant because it makes more sense to kill yourself than to kill another being for any reason. Self-preservation is a concept long forgotten in the face of a society that’s working for everyone, and not just for itself. Stealing becomes a concept unheard of, because everyone just takes what they need and know reservation because their aware of the things that can and can’t be produced, and how hard other people work to produce the things they want. People don’t go, and go again to jail. There are no jails, and the few left standing are simple structures that act like artifacts in museums that we send our children to to show us what we once were.

In the world I see, people give a shit. Laziness is unheard of because everyone is working towards something, either just to keep the world running for the sake of it running, or the next great idea to make the world run faster. Life literally becomes fair, except in the case of romance and getting to know other people, although people won’t fall prey to the fundamental attribution error. People don’t judge others on what they’re wearing or look like, think or have thought at some point in their life, the things they do or the other people they hang out with, because they’ll be aware that an explanation could always be found, and if they haven’t found it, it’s their own fault, not the other persons.

In the world I see, people feel death, like I do, every night that I’m kept awake and wondering how to make a dream a reality.

Kuro: *exhale*

I can’t sleep.
I’m cringing about every 30 seconds.

To be completely honest, I didn’t hear the lyrics at all. It’s a habit I fell into, just listening to the flow of the sounds before grasping the meaning of the words being said. I only looked them up after, and then challenged myself to save it anyway.

I didn’t.

“Everyone makes mistakes.” Has never been enough of an excuse for me. As a matter of fact, it’s never been an excuse at all. Why is it that some people make more mistakes than others? Do they care more? Are they just paying more attention? I don’t know.
I know I’m getting better, though. The intervals between mistakes are getting larger and larger, and I’m hoping, soon, that they’ll stop happening entirely. Like that time there was a sign, and it said “Time since this sign was set back to 0” and it said “17 days” and someone just stared at it. I do have to resent my counter today.
That was stupid.
And I’m hoping I’ll get to throw the sign out completely. Forget how to make mistakes. That’s my goal.

Kuro: You can never fix the past, but you can always do better in the future.

I’m vaguely aware of them reaching my ears. The vibrations hit them lightly, soothingly as always. And then.

Sledgehammer. It starts on the right side of my brain, head (Because who holds a phone on their left side? ._.), then spreads slowly to the left. And suddenly

A wave of euphoria and panic spreads through my body, followed by the weight, followed by lightheaded-ness, followed by a peace that has it’s own signature….

I relish it. I also resent its power. I dislike liking As Tall As Lions. Don’t get me wrong, they’re an amazing band. It’s just…the feeling…

Kuro: damitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamitdamit STOP. Maybe not.